


Declawed

by Offline (Exo_One)



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra (She-Ra) Leaves the Horde, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-15 05:14:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20860814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exo_One/pseuds/Offline
Summary: She can't take anymore.She shatters.She leaves.(An alternate season one.)





	1. Scratch

Her plans fail spectacularly. The blame is solely placed upon her shoulders and her title is stripped from her.

She hurts. There is nobody to warm her bed. Nobody to hold her, and as much as she wants to call Adora a traitor... at least her only friend is happy.

...when's the last time _she_ was happy? That she was _loved_? That she wasn't just a cog in someone else's victory machine?

Catra softly hisses and clutches her pillow tight. The aching chasm in her chest rips itself wide open and all the static she tries so desperately to force down roars up into her brain. All the emotions that she's tried to kill are eating her alive. She wants to be strong, but all she can feel in herself is weakness. She claws at her arms and legs, cutting gashes into her limbs. The pain helps her focus, but now all she can focus on is her own sins.

Maybe Adora was right, and she's playing for the wrong side- no, no, that can't be! The Horde gave her a home and a purpose!

...an abusive home, where she's just a warm body to be crammed in armor? A number with a pulse?

"Shut up," she whimpers. "S-stop. I need the Horde. I have to be here, o-or I'm nothing."

But there isn't any stopping her own worst critic. The tears of shame and self-loathing are hot. Her body is cold. She hurts.

(She isn't asleep when dawn comes.)

\------

Shadow Weaver beats her bloody for the attempt to taint her status. Catra grits her teeth and bears it, not wanting to give this woman the satisfaction. As a final act of cruelty, the sorceress tears out her nails. She screams as the flesh securing her natural weapons is torn apart by shadows.

_"I expected disobedience from you, Catra, but never that you would stoop so low. Pathetic little furball- after everything I've done for you, this is my thanks? The fact that you're the one who I was left with is a shame. Perhaps it's finally time I make good on my promise to you..."_

She can feel the darkness setting in around her, just like it did when she was tiny. Her heart pounds and her mind screams with a sea of voices that only Shadow Weaver's magic brings to life. All of the turbulent emotions of the past month wrap around her heart and lungs. She can't breathe, shecan'tbreatheshecan'tbreatheshecan'tbreathemakeitstopmakeitstopshewasagoodgirl- she collapses, a feline-themed puppet with her strings cut. 

Shadow Weaver laughs cruelly. _"Ah, you've lost your will to fight... that look on your face is cute, though. That fear is eating you alive, mmh? Good. Let it."_

Catra doesn't notice that she's herded onto a skiff and taken to the edge of the Whispering Woods, or that her gear is stripped away and replaced with filthy linens that barely count as rags, let alone as clothes. All she feels is afraid and hurt, ashamed. Hated. Unloved. Useless. She lies there in the dirt for what feels like forever as her sanity patches itself together slowly but surely.

She stands up under the moonlight, exhausted, dehydrated and starving.

"...maybe there's room for one more in the Rebellion?"


	2. Wildcat

The worst part of being alone in these woods with no claws, she decides, is how difficult it is to kill and skin things. Her fingers ache and she has no weapons to speak of with which to protect herself. She grumbles to herself, upset with how things have gone so utterly insane.

"My best friend turns into a giant princess with an equally giant sword and abandons me for rainbow land, my plans go up in smoke, and here the fuck I am in the woods with my nails gone. By whatever the hell a First One is, this _sucks._ Seriously, I've no clue what the hell went wrong."

The worst part is that things had finally been looking up! She had so much power at her disposal, but... ugh. Thinking about that just makes it hard to swallow the lead ball in her throat. There's a hot wash of shame that floods down her back like the air-blast that follows an explosion. "What am I feeling guilty about?! I've done what I needed to do to survive!" 

...shit, she's been an awful friend. Adora's been at least a sister to her since childhood, and she's _jealous_ that a weird-ass glowing fucking sword chose Adora. A _sword! _It's not like she even uses a fucking sword, anyways! She puts her head in her hands and screams for a while, completely ashamed of her own lack of ability to not act like a child.

Shadow Weaver's always been a bitch to her, so whatever- that's just the usual shit she does. Manipulative bitch and all, so of course her showing any manner of affection for Adora was probably trying to tear the two of them apart since childhood. There's probably a five hundred-page royal text about Weaver being a garbage fire. 

She's always lived in Adora's shadow, but, well... the poor blonde casts a long shadow, that's for certain. Probably explains why she was such a weirdo in the Academy- being everyone's favorite probably gives you a lot of undue stress, especially when they want you to be perfect.

...she wants to be perfect, too- wait, what? Fuck no she doesn't! Perfect means work! Work she doesn't want to do, or could be making someone else do in her place. So fuck that being perfect thing. She's Catra, she doesn't do work unless it's <strike>fun</strike> interesting or <strike>makes her powerful</strike> has long-term benefits for her! Besides, she has more than enough shit to deal with without adding extra.

She sighs and curls up in a ball under the roots of a tree. She probably has a few more days to think about this.

\------

She has a realization while using a stone to bludgeon a deer to death- maybe Adora needs someone in her shadow, someone she can fall back on when she's unable to live up to the crazy expectations that the world seems to have for her. Someone to save her when she's all fucked up and can't do it any further- shit, that'd probably make her even more recognized! Catra, savior of She-Ra!

...their names are only a 'cat' apart. Huh. What an odd coincidence.

Her life is a mess.

\------

"Note to self," she grumbles, "don't get deer bladder on your clothes." Seriously, the damn thing reeks like it literally just crawled up another deer's ass and died.

_THWIP!_

She shrieks as an arrow nearly skewers her, instead punching into her deer and mangling its neck.

"HEY!" she yowls angrily at the treeline. "GET YOUR OWN DAMN DEER, THIS ONE'S TAKEN!"

A very familiar boy with a quiver of arrows at his back steps out of the treeline. Her ears droop. "Aw, are you serious?! No, I'm not letting you have my dinner! I had to beat this thing to death with a rock!"

...he looks a bit queasy at that, but shakes it off and readjusts his aim.

"This isn't about the deer."


	3. Kennel

Catra just looks at Bow like he's stupid, a disbelieving grin on her face. "C-care to say that again?" 

Bow raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms, the metal of his gear glinting slightly. "You heard me. We want you to join the Rebellion." He isn't joking around, and she can tell.

She seriously considers it. No more being alone, no more hurting. She gets Adora back. She gets to eat things that she didn't personally have to bludgeon to death moments ago. She gets to hurt Shadow Weaver and beat the crap out of horde soldiers, but instead of being a traitor she's a _hero_! "Y'know what, archer guy? I'll take you up on that offer."

He looks very surprised. "Wait, really? I was sure you were going to attack me with your claws and generally just make this awkward."

Upon mentioning claws, her ears droop and she growls. "Shadow Weaver tore my fucking claws out, buddy. I've been beating things to death with rocks for a reason."

He looks horrified. "That's... wow, that's awful. I didn't know that things could even get that bad." 

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, it hurts like fuckin' nothing I've ever felt before, but it's not like I have a healer on standby." She grimaces slightly as the pain makes her hands shake.

He smiles hesitantly and offers her a hand, which she looks at with confusion. "I know it might not seem like a good decision at the moment, but you won't regret it. Let's get you out of the woods, yeah?" She takes his hand, only hissing a little from the uncomfortable sensation of her flesh squishing against itself.

\------

Her tail thrashes as she stares out at Queen Angella from inside the cell she's in. Bow's in the cell, too, if only as a show of trust. Princess Glimmer and Adora are behind the Queen, with Adora looking at her with what looks like hope and some anxiety. Glimmer just stares at her with something akin to loathing in her eyes.

"_You're _Queen Angella? I could've sworn you'd be taller. And have laser eyes or like, fire breath or something." she jokes, trying to not panic because oh fuck she has wings and she's so tall and please don't look at her like that.

Queen Angella's wings shift and for a moment Shadow Weaver is looming over her, darkness strangling the life out of her and the walls are too close and she can't breathe she can't breathe she can't _breathe- _the pain comes roaring back and the static screams ever higher in her mind, a tide drowning rational thought and she's not going to win this _she's going to die_

"Catra?" Adora's voice pierces through the fog. 

The world crashes back down into her and she clutches at the sides of her head, doing her best to force down the scared yowl that's trying to tear itself free of her throat.

Angella is looking at her with pity and sadness. Fear turns into blind rage. "Don't LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!" she shrieks, slamming into the bars with all of her strength. Glimmer scowls, Adora cringes, and the Queen of Bright Moon just looks at her with even more pity and sadness. Bow pulls her away from the bars, begging her to calm down.

The rage abates and all of her emotions flatten, the static sea in her mind dulling to a gentle wash against the coast. Her ears droop and she closes in around herself, tail wrapping around her. Her grip on Bow's hand is crushing. He whimpers slightly, blood flow to his fingers completely cut off. She mutters an apology to him and lets his hand go. Adora looks at her with warmth and hope in her eyes. Glimmer looks a little stunned that she even knows what an apology is, and Bow nurses his slightly-flattened hand.

Queen Angella actually kneels to be at eye level with Catra, looking to all the world like a compassionate ruler and mother figure, and wow Catra's heart hurts. This lady, who was her sworn enemy less than a week ago, is more of a mother to her than Shadow Weaver ever was.

Catra has to blink back the tears.

"What happened to you?" Angella asks.

Catra takes a deep breath.

"That's a really, really long story..."


	4. Veterinarian

Catra never thought she'd live to see the day that she joined the Rebellion, but here she is. Adora's being kept at a distance by Glimmer, who's still paranoid about her being some kind of double agent or something. Frankly, Catra doesn't blame her. She'd be just as suspicious... or probably more. Nah, definitely more.

She's taken to Bright Moon's infirmary. A bunch of people who are too cheery for Catra's taste take all of her bodily measurements and dunk her hands in goop that is a glowing lime color. It burns like hell and she has to be held down so she doesn't try to get it off. She screeches for a good ten minutes as her nails forcibly regrow. They do all the things they did before, which is what she missed, but _fucking ow. _Like seriously. 

As soon as she can, she grabs a scalpel, slips away from her watchers, and slinks away into the shadows. Catra follows the single distinct scent that she's <strike>desperate for</strike> the most familiar with, which is Adora's. She follows it to where it's the most intense and gets herself into Adora's room, breaking that scalpel to unlock the door. The scent hits her like a tidal wave and she instantly feels safe. Some small part of her realizes just how much she needs to be near Adora.

Note to future Catra: steal Adora's heart, replace it with your own, love forever.

She locks the door behind her and spends the next thirty minutes rubbing her face against Adora's stuff. It's technically hers now, so she needs to make sure it smells like her. Every article of clothing, every piece of furniture, _everything. _

She finds one of Adora's dirty shirts in the closet and puts it on, eschewing the rags she had previously worn in favor of familiar scents and comfortable fabric.

...just to be safe, she throws the rags off the balcony into the forest.

She smiles widely, very happy with herself so far, and flops down onto Adora's- no, _their_ bed- to take a very well-earned nap. 

\------

When it becomes common knowledge that Catra has simply vanished like a feline ghost, everyone's instantly on high alert. Glimmer teleports from room to room, Bow clambers up onto the castle's roof to get a better vantage point, and Adora sighs.

"Should've known she'd run off as soon as she was healed and got the chance," Glimmer grumbles. "She's too evil to ever have been on our side." Adora looks gravely offended on Catra's behalf, knowing that her childhood friend-turned-enemy-turned-friend wouldn't go back on this and storms off. 

Bow follows her. "Adora, wait- she didn't mean it like that!" He hesitates a little. "Okay, well, she probably meant that but you get what I mean!"

\------

Catra mumbles softly as someone prods at her. "Nuh, go 'way." She opens her eyes at the sound of a very familiar sigh and sees Adora standing next to the bed with a fond smile on her face. 

"Found you. Heh, and they thought you were trying to escape."

Catra's unable to suppress the purr that bubbles up in her throat and she leaps out of bed into Adora's arms, finally feeling whole. Adora smiles and hugs her close, which earns her more intense purring and an equally massive hug.


End file.
